September 21st’s Epistle reading (Corinthians 12:20-21; 13:1-2) is difficult to process, especially given my past experience with parish conflicts. Anyone who has been Christian for more than a few years knows the heartbreak of watching beloved friends in Christ turn against each other. "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brethren dwell in unity" (Palm 133:1)! That blessed unity is so fragile, and once the peace of a community is disturbed, troubles far beyond the divisive catalyst tend to emerge.
I wish I could give effective advice on how to repair unraveling relationships among believers. I've never had much success. Of course, we must practice forgiveness as commanded in Matthew 18:21-22. We must also pray for clergy and lay leaders who are first responders to the moral and spiritual crises within their parishes. It's very easy for our leaders to make a mistake and end up escalating rather than diffusing conflict, so they desperately need our prayers and God's grace to promote the good work of peace.
Tragically, sometimes it can be best for believers to part ways, as Sts. Paul and Barnabas did in Acts 15:36-41. This is a hard reality to accept. I had to leave my previous faith community because my conscience required it. It was impossible for me to agree with certain leadership decisions, even though I wanted to stay and was tempted to compromise my convictions. Fortunately, I am happier now, having joined a new faith community, but I am sure my former community continues to serve the Lord. After all, simply because people have failed you doesn't always mean they have failed Christ. Thank God for that!
We are imperfect humans, and as such, we will disappoint one another. But God calls us to continue to love each other despite the pain of disagreement. Sadly, as St. Silouan the Athonite observes: "There are people who desire the destruction, the torment in hell-fire of their enemies, or the enemies of the Church. They think like this because they have not learned divine love from the Holy Spirit, for he who has learned the love of God will shed tears for the whole world." There are times when we ourselves can be tempted to see members of our own congregations as enemies and desire their destruction.
May God's grace preserve us from desiring the destruction of our fellow believers, no matter the pain they have caused. Even when we must physically separate from each other's company due to conflict, let us still strive to live in the same loving, forgiving Spirit - the Spirit of Christ. Amen.